Single? Married? Find Your Soul Mate

Single.

The word congers up so many meanings. Webster's Dictionary describes single as -being the only one, unmarried; unique; solitary, for one person or thing. To someone in a bad marriage the word would mean peace. To another, being in an unhappy relationship, single would be seen as freedom. But to men and women everywhere that are not in a relationship it signifies loneliness, a condition that needs to be rectified.

We live in a society that is quick to get out of relationships, then just as quick to get back in so the word "single" does not attach itself to them for long. Being single is just too embarrassing. You feel left out if you're single. You can't; double date with your friends, go to couple parties or entertain couples etc.

This creates the need for the hundreds of dating services available, on and off line. A friend recently convinced me to join an online dating forum. A quick look around made me see how many men and women are looking for the same thing - a soul mate. Almost every ad mentions," looking for my soul-mate". Most of the ads are so serious, screaming in desperation- " I have tried every where, please let me find you here!" The ads list their wants like a shopping list that needs to be met in a hurray- "attention shoppers ten minutes until closing".

I decided on a different approach. I entitled mine "Auction! Model 8! Mint Condition!" I then went on to list my "features and options" like I was a rare car up for auction. Instead of "looking for” I put "bidder's requirements". Do I expect to meet my true love this way? No, but I have had 
some interesting chats!

For me, being single is a good way to be right now. I am happy and content. Being alone has allowed me to get to know myself and make changes that I feel are necessary for myself and any future relationship. How can you be in a relationship and not know who you are deeper 
than- I like this, I like that? That's why so many people "lose themselves" or "get taken over" by their mates. When the relationship ends, they are lost. That other person had literally become their whole life.

If you are in a relationship right now, take the time to get to know yourself independently of your partner. Create separate interests, goals and friends. When you are together, you will bring more to the table. If the relationship ends, you will not be as devastated.

You will always have you.

If you are single right now, spend time with yourself, your thoughts. By making yourself busy every minute of the day you are only avoiding yourself. Make the time to spend with you.

By asking and finding out who you are, your life will be full no matter what you do or who you do it with. Your burning need to "find someone" will be lessened because you will be self-satisfied.

You will become your own soul mate. You will 
change your search to "looking for a companion 
soul-mate".

But beware! The dating services might go out of business!

Liz Wertman