The Devil You Don't Know

By Liz Wertman

When you are in a marriage that is not working well, and you don’t do anything about it, you are on a plateau. Depending on your personality and how insecure you are, you might stay on that plateau for a few months, a few years or longer because getting off is a scary event. You would have to confront the issue. Then you would be faced with the task of repairing your marriage or divorce. If divorce is the decision you would then be on your own; what would you do? How could you do it? It’s the devil you know versus the devil you don’t know. The devil you know is on this plateau with you. You are not happy but you feel safe.

Let’s examine how you got here. You were filled with hopes and dreams when you got married. For whatever reason, these hopes and dreams didn’t materialize. Along the way you not only lost the vision of your married future, you lost the vision of yourself, of your future. Where have you gone?

Instead of living life to it’s fullest and getting what you want from your life, you’re sitting on a plateau….waiting.

What are you waiting for? For someone else to take over your future and to decide what you should do?

This means you have handed over control of your life to your spouse. That relinquishing of control has made you unhappy, insecure and scared. You are scared to stay where you are and scared to leave. If you stay on the plateau your life will not change at all. But if you get off the plateau you will regain control and your life will change. You will also regain your security and your visions of who you are, who you want to be, plus a lot more. You will be able to learn, discover and do all the things you are now too scared to try.

Sitting on the plateau you are beating yourself into the ground with or without the help of your spouse. Making the decision to get off the plateau is the best thing you can do for yourself. Indecision breeds contempt for you, your entire life as well as everyone and everything in it.

Sitting on the plateau you will continue to stagnate. It paralyzes you. Your attitude continues to be negative.

Get off! Your attitude will change! The words “I can’t do that” will not be in your vocabulary. You will hear yourself say more and more “ I can do that”! You can get a career to support yourself and your children! You can handle your children! You can do household repairs! You can start over! In fact you can do anything you want to! Knowledge is a powerful resource to have!

Best of all you can look at yourself in the mirror and be proud of yourself and what you have accomplished. You have regained your self confidence! You have regained control over your own life.

You have gotten to know the devil you didn’t know.

This devil is wonderful to know!


Liz Wertman